


A Love Hotel in Vegas? Do you want to die!?

by MyNameIsKanya



Category: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Play, Anal Sex, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Comedy, M/M, Post-Book 2: Wayward Son, Sex, Sir Kink, Smut, SnowBaz, Spanking, Vampire Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Wayward Son Fic, carry on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:33:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22772590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyNameIsKanya/pseuds/MyNameIsKanya
Summary: Simon is a drunk idiot, and Baz is a slutty drunk idiot by association.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	A Love Hotel in Vegas? Do you want to die!?

Right now, I was currently staring at a particularly fat raven. It was the plumpest, juiciest, most blood filled raven I could’ve ever hoped to see out here. Fat birds weren’t a staple of Las Vegas. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I saw animals out here. Las Vegas is too artificial for those, I guess.

In a matter of seconds, the once plump bird was swiftly reduced to a pile of feathers. I felt my appetite slightly diminish, but that feeling of primal hunger never quite left me even after a good meal. I could feel blood around my mouth and hands, but no way was I wiping that on my floral shirt.

That’s how it always was, though. I couldn’t remember a day in my life where my stomach was full. Seeing Lamb looking so fresh and healthy, seeing all the Vegas vampires, so lively...It..It… made me think about my abnormal appearance. Even by vampire standards, I was too pale, and far too thin. I was probably underweight...Well that sucked. I didn’t care enough about my health to worry about it. I’m dead anyways, so who the fuck even cares if I’m unhealthy?

“Hey Baz,” a quiet voice mumbled. I heard a certain someone’s footsteps approaching me.

“Simon…”

“What are you doin-....” He started, letting his sentence trail off upon seeing the pile of raven feathers.

I stared down at the ground, spotting a particularly large crack in the pavement. Didn’t think a place this fancy would let their car park be so..messy. It wasn’t just the crack (I’m not that much of a stickler), there was a wretched odour that seemed to only exist out here specifically. A mix between raw sewage and rotting flesh. And there were weird brown stains all over the lot. The only thing better about outside than the room is that the Normal isn’t here.

I felt Simon’s shoulder press into mine. He was leaning on me, obviously annoyed.

“Bazzzzz,” He whined. “ Why are you out here so late at night? Shouldn’t you be sleeping? Or doing literally anything else that isn’t out here?”

“I don’t want to. That nosy Normal is pissing me off. It’s one thing to interfere with magickal business, but messing with our magickal business? How rude.”

Simon laughed as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He gently tugged me in his direction. Warm. He was so warm. This was a warmth I didn’t deserve.

“I think we’ll be fine. That Normal has already saved our lives countless times.”

“He has also endangered our lives countless times already.”

“Well, I’m Simon Snow. Life endangering situations are my every day”

“Not true. We had gone one successful year of not having to risk our lives.”

“Yeah, but it sucked. Being a hero, it’s who I’m meant to be. It’s like, ever since I lost my powers, I haven’t felt like myself. I felt burnt out and sad, and I felt like I was holding you back. But here, In America, I feel like my old self. I feel powerful”

I grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it. Finally, we were talking. He was opening up. I didn’t want to let go. I couldn’t stand the idea of losing this feeling again. I needed him close, I needed his heat, and I needed to know we could, no we would stay like this forever.

“It’s like,” Simon continued. “I don’t know what my future looks like. I don’t even know if I want a future anymore.”

“Oh Simon. You were always so...present thinking weren’t you?”

“Was that not obvious?”

No actually, it wasn’t. The way he so valiantly looked out for the Humdrum made him seem chivalrous. Maybe that’s what he wanted me to see, I guess. The truth was, Simon really thought his whole existence would be served fighting the Humdrum. Once that purpose was fulfilled he would...he would what? Spontaneously combust?

“I don’t know,” Simon said as he put his cheek on my shoulder. “I didn’t think I’d get this far… I don’t feel like I’ll get past this.”

That’s it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned to face Simon and pulled him close. I could finally see him. I gently cupped his face with my hands, and felt the heat from cheeks warm them. It was so nice, the fire he seemed to always have. He was so bright.

“Simon...Simon. Look at me. Look at me, okay? I see an amazing future out there for you. Not as a Chosen One, not as a reckless hero. But a future where you are just you. You are amazing, you are powerful and you are a force to be reckon. But you can’t be reckless. You can’t live your life like this.”

“Baz, I love you. More than you could ever know..”

I kissed him.

“I think I know a little bit.”

He kissed me back.

Fire. Heat. His touch. His hands. His mouth. His warmth. It travelled all around me. From the tips of my toes to the top of my head. It was all I could feel. Him. All consuming. All loving. All fiery.

Simon’s mouth was hungry for me. Desperate for a connection between our lips. We sloppily let ourselves do whatever it took to keep us like this. At first, I let Simon take the led, let him warm me up. But I had warth to share with him. Just him. Right here.

Simon started trailing kisses along my jaw, which made me very giggly. The lower his lips went, the more laughter arose from mine.

“Ticklish, hun Baz?”

“Fuck you.”

“Only if you want to.” He winked.

Baz rolled his eyes at the idiot he called his boyfriend.

“Do you smell that?” I inquired. Maybe it was my super awesome vampire smell, but it literally smelled like death out here.

“Yeah, we should go somewhere… a little more discreet.”

“Like, a hotel room?”

“Penny and the Normal are in there. No way in fuck am I letting those watch us.”

‘It’s not like they’d want to’ I was about to interject. That was besides the point though.

“So where do you suggest we go then, Mister Snow?”

Simon punched my arm gently. He pulled out a flask of vodka and took a big swig.

“Want some?”

I never drank. Being drunk was boring. Being around drunks was boring.

“Sure.”

I took the flask out of his hand and let the vodka burn my throat.

“Okay, now come with me.”

Simon must have some magic left in him. After all, there’s no way in hell someone can be this fluent in the geography of a city they just got to. But Simon was navigating the mazes of roads like he lived here all his life. He lead me through main roads and back alleys, the wide roads and the narrow corners. In a matter of minutes, Simon had taken us to...another hotel.

“This was the big plan? Take us from hotel room to another?”

Simon chuckled. “This isn’t any old plain hotel. Or even a vampire hotel. This is a love hotel.”

“A love hotel..?”

“It’s a hotel where you can rent a room out by the hour. The rooms also have cool themes.”

I was very confused.

“Why would you rent a room out by the hourrrrrr-oh! Oh Simon, you pervert! What do you think you’re gonna get to do with me!”

Simon put a quick kiss on my cheek.

“Hopefully something you want to do with me,” He whispered.

God, Simon was so embarrassing.

I rolled my eyes and smiled at him,“Alright then, let’s go in.”

Love hotels don’t have receptionists, for some reason. Instead, there are buttons you press that correlate to the room you want. Basically, it was like a vending machine.

I looked at the pictures of the rooms on the wall. These rooms were somehow more eccentric than the vampire hotel we were staying at. There was a spaceship room, which was cool in theory but seemed really tacky in the picture. There a classroom themed room, which deeply unsettled me. There was a carnival theme, ice cream theme, and even a (sigh) vampire theme.

But there was room that caught mine and Simon’s attention. The Dungeon room.

“That is the nicest dungeon I’ve ever seen.” Simon remarked.

“How many dungeons have you been in?” This was a genuine question. I have no idea what kind of danger Simon was put through during most of our time at Watford.

“Enough.”

“So are we going to the uh.. To the dungeon..?” Saying that sentence was painful.

“Yep,” he said as he pressed D8 to reserve that room for the hour.

Despite my general prudiness (it’s okay if I say that about myself), I was very excited. I’ve never done anything like this, let alone with Simon. Sneaking out with your boyfriend for some alone time was not something either felt like doing. In fact, most of the times we were alone together were spent watching TV, and the occasional blowjob if we were up for it. Dungeon sex?! Oh this was going to be amazing.

I didn’t let my excitement show on my face. No way was I going to let Simon have that satisfaction over me. Simon was under the very false misconception that I was super cool. Super cool people don’t get excited about the prospect of sex. Super cool people are nonchalant about everything, including going to a love hotel

The dungeon room was on the eight floor. Yeah apparently this place has 10 floors, I guess. It was a tall, narrow building, but 10 floors is 10 floors.

The elevator was across the room selection board (I think that’s what it’s called). Simon almost jumped into that thing, I simply walked in. When he saw me enter, he pressed the ‘8’ button three times, and hit the ‘doors closed’ buttons until the doors fully closed.

“How many presses do you think it takes before something works?”

“I don’t care enough. Pressing buttons is fun.”

“Whatever.”

Simon decided now would be the time to smack my ass and grab it hard. I would normally protest, but frankly I love attention from him.

“You like that, slut?”

Oh shit. This was happening. Simon and I had discussed BDSM and stuff before. How he said he’d like to tie me up. ANd how I said I like being called a slut. But that conversation was semi-ironic. Besides I-

“Yeah, Simon.”

He spanked me.

“That’s ‘Sir’ to you.”

“Yes, Sir.”

I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks. I didn’t think I’d enjoy this as much I do, but I do. Simon was 100% going on a power trip, I could feel it.

Simon wrapped his arms around my hips and started to rub my stomach gently. His warm breath tickled me whenever he kissed my ear gently.

The elevator dinged. We were now on the eighth floor.

“C’mon now. We have lots to do.” Simon was sounding very devious. I didn’t know if I should be concerned or turned on. But I suppose I can do both.

You see, love hotels don’t give you keys if you only stay for the hour. You just press the button on the door, and it automatically locks for the hour. That is super sketchy to me, but whatever works, works.

Simon opened the door for me. “After you.”

The dungeon room looks better in person than it does in the photo. It was small, and intimate. The king sized bed took up most of the room. The room is lit entirely by candles, making the light warm orange. This lighting complimented the dark brown wood that most of the furniture is made out of. It also emphasised the textures of the brick wall around us. The walls themselves had chains on them, reminding us that this was a dungeon. There were other brown metal accents around the room to give off that dangerous vibe.

Simon plopped himself on the bed. He was eyeing me, probably stripping me in his mind like the pervert he was.

“Come here,” He said as he patted an empty spot on the bed beside him.

“Yes, sir.”

I sat myself next to him, anticipating his next move.

He started stroking my hair.

“It’s gotten so long, now. I remember when it was at the tips of your ears.”

“Yeah,” I couldn’t help but laugh out of embarrassment “I was planning on cutting it..”

“No! Don’t!” He grabbed my hands and bumped our foreheads together. “I love your hair long like this. It makes you look..regal.”

I laughed. “Regal, huh?”

“Absolutely.”

I couldn’t stop looking at him, he was beautiful. Especially under this light. His eyes were glowing.

The only thing that got me to look away is when he kissed me. I closed my eyes and let myself savour the moment. He was far more passionate now. The vodka must’ve loosened him up. I reciprocated his passion, because the vodka must’ve loosened me up too. Loose, free, energy. It’s all Simon radiates. His love is my fuel.

He knotted his hands in my hair. As we kissed, I could feel myself hunger for more. I started to unbutton his shirt.

“I hate that shirt,” I said in between breaths.

“Help me take it off then?”

His shirt was now off. And now Simon was looking at me like I needed to do something now.

“Take off your shirt for me, slowly.”

I see Simon decided to be a dom again. “Um, alright.”

“Pardon?”

“I mean, yes sir.”

“Good boy.”

Fuck, I was nervous. I kept fumbling the buttons. My hands were working against my will. Simon was staring at me, his face growing more impatient.

“Do you need help?”

“No sir.”

I finally got the buttons undone. I was so annoyed I threw the shirt on the floor.

“Yay, both of our shirts are off..”

“You sure are flustered aren’t you?”

“Well, yeah. We’re doing it at a love hotel, and in the dungeon room no less.”

Simon dropped to his knees. “Please, this is barely a dungeon.”

Simon quickly undid my belt and unzipped my pants. I wasn't hard yet, which probably cemented my cool guy status in Simon’s eyes.

Simon pulled my pants all the way down, and started to kiss my thighs. His kisses were quick and numerous. I could feel his love all over them.

“Baz, you’re such a pretty slut.”

Fuck. His praise went straight to my cock.

“Someone’s finally hard.”

Simon started to tug on my dick. He was slow and gentle at first, letting each stroke linger. A particularly nice stroke made a moan escape my lips.

“You like that, whore?”

“Yes, sir.”

He smirked up at me and continued stroking.

“Is there anything else you want me to do?”

Was he joking? There was a whole book of things I wanted him to do to me.

“Y-yeah.”

“Well, I’ll need to tell exactly what you want me to do. In perfect detail. Unless you want me to make you cum just like this.”

“I want you to uh- to suck my dick. And I want you to fuck me rough. Make me beg for your cock. Tease me until my cock goes numb. Fuck me senseless. Treat me like the dirty fucking whore I am...Uhm-sir.”

Simon spit on his hand before he continued stroking me again.

“You act like you’re so innocent, but you’re just a slut for my cock, aren’t you?”

Simon began kissing the tip of my dick. His tongue swirled around it slowly, picking up the small drops of precum leaking out. That warm wet sensation felt amazing, and it was already sending small waves of pleasure up my spine. But Simon wasn’t moving past the tip, his tongue kept teasing me in the best way possible. My hips bucked up, trying to chase more stimulation from Simon’s mouth. Yet, he still managed to not fully immerse my cock into his mouth.

“Please, Sir.”

Simon let his lips come off my dick with a ‘pop.’

“Please, what?”

“P-please, ugh please suck me off all the way.”

“Alright, since you’ve been a good boy so far, I can reward you a little.”

In an instant, Simon had fully taken every inch of me down his throat. Warm, wet bliss surrounded my cock. He had never taken all of my length into his mouth, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it.

Simon could barely handle it either. Tears formed around the corners of his eyes. He was making disgustingly sexy sounds around my cock. I almost backed away, but he pulled away first.

Before I could even apologize, Simon got back to what he was. He was bobbing his head as he deepthroated. Increasing my pleasure and his time to breathe. He was getting into a steady rhythm, one that made me feel incredible. ‘So incredible’, I thought as I bucked my hips into his throat. That was a big mistake.

Simon pulled away and quickly stood up.

“Get on your hands and knees, right now bitch.”

I did as he asked, I was practically shaking.

“Do you know why I’m about to punish you?”

“Yes sir.”

“If you can tell me, I’ll be less severe.”

“I, umm, I was being greedy.”

“Damn right you were. Do you think I like greedy sluts?”

“No sir.”

“How many spanks do you think a greedy slut deserves?”

“20 spanks.”

“20 it is.”

Simon examined the paddles displayed on the wall. He picked a short but wide paddle, wood with a shiny finish. Simon placed himself beside me. He got the solid wooden paddle and gently brushed it against my ass.

“Count them for me.”

Simon raised his hand in the air. I could anticipate his arm coming down. When it did, the harshness of the paddle’s slap resonated in the room. The pain was a loud snap at first, but slowly quieted to a sharp sting.

“O-one!”

Simon let his other hand run along my spine, sending chills down my back. He let his dominant hand, the one with a paddle, deliver a spank.

“Two..Ah!”

The spanks felt like fire, I craved that stinging heat. I wanted, no I needed that from him.

Simon could feel my desperation for his rough touch. He obliged and continued to spank me. Each one came after the other in quick succession. I could barely keep count. I was spitting out the numbers as quickly as Simon was delivering the spanks. I felt high.

Simon delivered the final spank. It took a lot for me to not cum right then and there. Thankfully, I didn’t.

Simon sat himself beside and put our hands together.

“Do you want to go all the way?”

His voice was much gentler now. Kinder than the stern voice he had while punishing me.

“I don’t know, maybe…?”

Simon shook his head. “I don’t want a ‘maybe.’ I want a ‘yes,’ I want you to want me so bad that you can’t even keep it under control.”

“That’s...That’s how I always feel.” I said before letting out a quiet laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh at him. Simon didn’t even realize how sweet he was, which made his acts of kindness feel even better.

“Yeah. I think I’m ready for this. I want you, Simon Snow. More than anything, I want to have this.”

Without any hesitation, Simon pulled me in for a deep kiss. We had both quickly dropped the (stupid) BDSM pretense we were under. We were acting like ourselves instead, both desperately taking as much as we could from each other. Our lips sloppily danced together as Simon slipped his fingers into my hole.

Simon propped me against his body, making my opening more pronounced for him. He started gently playing with the outside of my hole. He spit on his fingers and teased my hole, eliciting some embarrassing moans from me. After a few minutes of simply playing with my opening, he let his first finger slip inside me.

He let his index finger mess with my insides, stretching me out. He pulled me in even closer and kissed. As he pressed his lips into mine, he let another finger enter me. He was now using a scissoring motion to loosen my hole. His fingers were rubbing just right. I couldn’t help but let out a gasp as his fingers moved faster and faster.

Simon seemed to be enjoying the way I was reacting to his touch. He was getting more rough with in an effort to make me moan more. It worked. I was a breathless mess right now. I tightened the grip of my arms around his back.

“You like that, Baz?” Simon had a sharp look in his eyes, like I was the only thing he cared about.

“Fuck yes! Please put it in.”

Simon thrust his fingers in just hard enough to make me gasp before pulling them out . I made a face that I’m way too embarrassed to describe as he did this.

Simon pulled a condom package out of pocket and put it on in record time.

“Get on the bed, right now,” Simon barked. I guess we’re back to the BDSM thing.

“Yes sir.”

I quickly hopped onto the bed and landed on my back. I was awaiting my next order.

“Spread your legs for me from there. I want to look at you while I fuck you.”

I did as I was told, with a smirk on my face.

“Wow, if you weren’t being such a dick, I’d say you’re being romantic.”  
Simon was on top of me in an instant. His hand wrapped around my throat and mouth was close to my ear.

“What was that?”

I could barely choke out my words. “Nothing, s-sir.”

“Good. Now spread your ass for me.”

I was completely exposing myself to Simon, and I knew he was enjoying my embarrassment. He was making me into a slut for him, and I loved it. Deep down, this is exactly what I wanted from Simon. To be his. I wanted him to use and treat me however he liked. I wouldn’t let myself act like this for anyone else, and he knew that. Simon was mine and I was his. We belonged to and with each other.

Simon slowly inserted himself into me. His member somehow managed to stretch out my hole more than before, The stinging sensations barely tolerable, and I found myself having a hard time focusing.

I must’ve made an unsavoury face, because Simon stopped inserting his member into me. Instead, he leaned down and kissed my cheek, then my lips. I reciprocated the kiss and let him push his member further inside me.

Simon had a look of concern painted on his face.

“Do you want me to keep going?”

I quickly nodded. Even if it stung a little, seeing Simon’s face was worth it. He was obviously enjoying himself, even if he was pretending he was a 100% concerned for me right now. I could hear him struggling to keep his voice down as he started to move. Even the smallest movements he made got him off.

As Simon continued thrusting, the pain started to lessen and pleasure was catching up to me. I was realizing just how good it felt to have Simon inside me. His cock roughly stirred up my insides, forcing me to enjoy the pounding. He was picking up the pace too, making his thrusts more intense.

“Fuck Baz, you feel so good!”

Fuck I felt good too. I couldn’t stand how overwhelmingly good it felt. My eyes were blurring up, I could barely pay attention. All I could feel was Simon.

Simon didn’t want to stop giving me praise.

“Ahh, you look so sexy when you’re embarrassed. You can barely even look at me right now. Fuck.”

I was reaching my limit. All this teasing and fucking was driving my crazy. Simon’s moans were turning me on too. I could feel myself on the brink of cumming.

Simon turned my cheek towards his face.

“I am so fucking close right now,” he panted.

“Hngg, m-me too.”

“Let’s cum together then.”

I didn’t think a simultaneous orgasm was possible. But apparently it can happen because in the span of a minute, Simon and I were absolutely spent. I came all over my stomach (ew), but Simon seemed pleased.

“Look at the mess you’ve made,” He sighed before licking it all off my body.

I was too turned on to be grossed out by this. His tongue felt so good gently moving across my stomach.

Simon continued licking up my body until he reached my neck. He chose instead to snuggle up in the crook of my neck.

“Umm, Simon..don’t you have a condom to take off?”

Simon looked shocked, like he totally forgot what we just did five seconds ago. He quickly peeled the condom off and balled it up.

“Please don’t do what I think you’re going to do.”

He Kobe’d the condom into the trash can and somehow didn’t miss. The can was in the furthest corner from the bed, making the shot all the more impressive.

Simon chuckled. “I am a basketball GOD.”

I would’ve said something funny, but I decided now would be the time to remind Simon that we have about 0:54 seconds to leave.

Simon remembered before I did, and was more panicked about it.

“Baz we have to get dressed and LEAVE. Now! Come on!” he said as he flailed around the room for his clothes. “If we don’t leave now we’ll get charged for another hour!”

Oh shit. Baz felt bad enough screwing over the American economy with his counterfeit coin already, no need for any more unnecessary financial crimes.

“Okay, okay. I’ve got most of my clothes...wait...where’s my shirt?”

Simon held my floral button-up shirt with a raised eyebrow.

“You mean, this one?”

“Please give it back, we only have…” I glanced over at the timer on the wall, “Like 2.54..53...52..51…”

“Ok geez, I got the point...”

He laughed as he handed me my shirt back.

Simon sighed. (Ha! SIGHmon, I’ll be sure to use that later).

“When was the last time we’ve had this much fun?”

“I don’t know babe.” I said as I finished buttoning up my shirt.

It seemed Simon got himself fully dressed in record time. There he was

“Exactly! We need to do stuff like this more often.”

I was deeply confused. “You mean, you want to visit seedy sex hote-”

“LOVE hotels.” Simon corrected.

“Potahto, Potayto. You mean, you want to visit fucked up areas like this for FUN?”

Simon pulled out the flask from his pant pocket and took a massive swig. He threw the flask at me and urged me to do the same. I did. I needed this right now.

“Yes. Absolutely.”

Simon dashed out of the room as fast as he could, me in hand. Although I could technically outrun him right now, I chose to run by his side. It was somehow more difficult to slow down my natural running pace to his than it would’ve been to run at full speed. But It was worth it. I got to see Simon’s hair blowing in the wind, his face illuminated by the pale moonlight, and that beautiful smile of his as he ran through the woods. Simon was right. He was in his element right now. He was fierce, not that I would say that to his face.

But unfortunately we were too drunk to be this elegant. We kept hitting branches and tripping on rocks. We were stumbling idiots because Simon and I kept on drinking on our way back, Penny’s judgment would hurt less if we were inebriated.

We got back to the ugly ass parking lot of our pretty ass hotel. I think we both realized we needed an excuse for why we both left for like,,2 hours maybe? I don’t know how long we were gone, but obviously long enough to raise concern.

“You know what? Fuck it. Who cares what Penny, or what that Normal or what anyone thinks? We are the kings of the world right now!” I yelled before I took Simon into a deep kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! I would appreciate a kudos and even a comment if you feel like it. Maybe critiquing a smut fic about gay vampires isn't your thing, but I thrive off of feedback.


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